Peaceful Stress
by Anonymous Eyes of Dormant Sins
Summary: Costa Rica is a place to come to for relieving of stress. Nature, animals, the sky and flows of waterfalls is all you need to kick conflict out the door. Well of all places, chaos comes here too. Will humble Rosalina ever be free from drama? Will Ash and his gang leave her alone? Life in Nintendo is bad enough then this shit right here adds cherry to the pie.
1. Year One: Holiday One

It was a blissful day at Costa Rica. A little somebody loves to come here and explore their heavenly nature every Christmas day as well as eve; A mischievous group(especially the flamboyant leader,)constantly tries to jump her with bamboo sticks, but always fail.

That little tourists is Rosalina. She roams around aimlessly on these two days to fast and relieve stress before transporting back to her observatory.

She stops and observes the yellow wooded sign nailed to the tree; "Pura Vida."

Rosalina- "Pura vida?" I wish.

Deep in the bushes behind her, there hides the mischievous group: Ash Crimson(the flamboyant leader), Duo Lon, and Shen Woo.

Ash- Got ya ass.[He starts to ruminate while contemplating at his enemy.]

Duo- Can we go home and drop this childishness?

Shen- How 'bout this. I go rape this bitch and y'all go home or watch the man make stimulate go son.

Ash- Damn it faggots! Duo, you always been a pussy.

Shen- RATCHET MAN GONE B...

Ash bash his mouth with a bamboo stick; He rolls down a grassy hill while yelling in pain.

He then immediately glares back to see if she's still there; nothing.

Duo- Please be less resentful.

Ash- FUCK!

Shen falls into a bay of rocks in the water.

Shen- AHHHHHHHHOW! SHIT! WROOO! FUCK YOU FLAMEBOY FAG!

Ash- Blowjob the pain ninja.

Duo- I don't..  
Ash- Shut! You smart, come up with somein.'

Duo- Like what?

Ash- How to bash this bitch! Duh.

While they was conspiring away, Rosalina was listening to her gold and sky blue mp3 and was kneeling down in the shallow water behind the La Fortuna Waterfall.

Mp3- "Making love faces, making love faces  
Shadows on the wall while the candles burnin'  
Messin' up the bed while you sweatin' out your perm and."

Rosalina- Guess I'm too awkward for sex.*sigh* Damn Mario, if only I knew you earlier.[She starts to meditate.]

Ash and his buddies sneaks their way between the two trees that separate the ground and water; widely exposed. Ash had a dentyne ice jumbo pack in his hand smirking at his hopeless prey.

Ash- Open this![He backfists Shen in the torso.]

Shen- Ooh! Okay man damn.[He took the jumbo pack from him and rips it open! All but ten fell out of the pack. Everybody gawks at the fallen mints while Ash's face turns beep red.]

Ash- YOU INCOMPETENT FUCK![He goes off like a girl!]

Duo walks away, sensing a horrified result within his friend.

Shen- Man you acting like Saiki right about now.

Ash- FUCK YOU! Just pick the shit up and throw it at this bitch!

She knows about their existence, but still meditates like they're merely ghosts. He took a mint out and threw it at Rosalina; it ricocheted off of her invisible bubble force field and launches towards it's thrower at twice the speed the owner gave it. It smashes his eye and breaks like a sparkling window afterwords. He hits the ground head first and immediately starts to yell and gripe while holding on the freshly injured eye with both hands; rolling around in pain.

Ash- OWWWWWW SHIT! UUUH DAMN! SHE DIDN'T DO NOTHIN'! HOW THE FUCK DID SHE DO THAT?! FUCKING GAY COCK-MATRIX!  
Shen- Uuuuh damn! She got that Wolf B-down special bra! B-down special on deck! That girl turnt UP of your large bang ass!  
Ash- NINJA SHUT YOUR ASS UP! MAKE YOURSELF USEFUL AND THROW SOMETHING AT HER!

Shen picks up the jumbo pack and tosses it up twice. Then he glares at her.

Shen- KALIBONGA BITCH![He lunches the pack at her with all his might.]

It again reflects off her force field and rebounds back with twice the speed; but instead of hitting him, it slams in Ash's nuts then scatters away in the form of dust. Ash screams at the top of his lungs; the sound wave travels the entire planet, stupefying people in the process; damn sure exceeds the sound barrier, and officially became the first sound to be heard in space; making the astronauts questing where that came from!

Ash was a statue, holding his nuts with his eyes wide open.

Shen- Can I fuck her now?[He gawks back to see if she's there; he sees a tiny piece of her dress dragging away in the jungle.] Damn. U ratchet ass scream done dried the pussy out!

* * *

- Note, underlined word means whomever was talking was interrupted when saying it. Two or more people will talk at once at that point.

Example:

Boy- let's go.  
Man- Shut your ass!  
Girl- Stop this!  
Boy- This got nothing to do with you!  
Girl- Y'all fighting over me so yes it does!  
Woman- Everybody SHUT THE FUCK UP!

You get it? The interrupter goes right under the talker(noise).

Words in [brackets] are usually by the speaker and means the character is committing the action stated in them;also the result of the action can plop up as well.

"What you don't know, now you know." -

"Love Faces" - Trey Songz


	2. Year One: Holiday Two

Rosalina tromps across the Savegre River's bridge then along various banana trees.

Rosalina- DAMN THIS LIFE!

This raging outburst wakes a clothed chimpanzee up.

Diddy Kong- EEE AAH! (What's wrong girl?!)

Rosalina- Huh?[glaring around her surroundings; she spots this monkey after overlooking him twice]

Diddy Kong- O Ooooh? (Want some fruit?)[he gives a banana to her]

Rosalina- That's sweet. A monkey that knows how to treat a lady.[she peels the banana and takes a tiny bite]

Here comes the mischievous gang, hiding behind various colored bushes contemplating at their prey.

Shen- Girl got an ass on her. Got-damn that's delish.

Ash- No, fuck dammit!

Duo- Here we go again.

Ash- Bitch will pay for bluing my nuts!

Duo- You walked into the trap; you damage your own self.

Ash- Ninja shut up!

Shen- I want her and she want me.

Diddy hears and sees the bush shuttling about. He decides to bring out his peanut gun out and blasts some peanuts at the bush.

Ash- What's that pop sound?

Next thing you know, a peanut breaks on his forehead.

Ash- OW MOTHER FUCK! Let's go![fleeing]

Shen- You want me! Come get this![fleeing]

Duo- Watch your nuts buddy.[fleeing]

Diddy climbs on her back.

Rosalina- You see what I go through?

Diddy- Poop, ah! (I Right here, I got you!)

By some mysterious motive, a stone comes out the bushes targeting Rosalina; Diddy swiftly grabs a stick and home-runs the stone back into it's cannon! A loud scream screeches out.

Ash- DAAAMN FUCK![waving his injured hand frantically]

Duo- Futile.

Ash- FUCK UP PUSSY!

Shen- That monkey's on her. Hell to the no![he gets ready to confront the monkey; viciously glaring at him]

Ash- Don't think about it.

Shen- This shit will be quick.[he departs from the bushes and confronts the monkey]

Ash- Dumb fuck.

Duo- I always ask of you, why?

Ash- Why, because of this bitch that's why. Look at her, she's big, attractive, and respectable. And I DON'T LIKE THAT NINJA! Don't like it at fucking all!

Duo- You don't know her though. You just making up excuses to bully strangers.

Ash- Whatever. I don't like her.

Duo- You're jealous of a stranger?

Shen on the other hand was being tamed; Diddy DDT's him on sharp rocks and like "Smash Brothers," sends him off screen right after nailing him with his side smash!(Spins around with his fists stretched out; two hitter: 5% plus 13% equals 18% damage.) He breaks through several vines, cutting him up in the process and cracks his back to fractures after it collides with an oak tree.

Shen- MOMMAAAAAAAAAH!

Ash- Suck it up. You fucked yourself on this one.[he glowers around for his prey, but she and her knight in fur already left the scene.] DAMMIT!

Duo- Why are you lusty?

Shen- FUCKING MONKEY! HE STOLE MY WOMAN! I PLAGUE A BRUTAL CURSE ON YOUR CONVICT ASS! King of lightning and fire! I want y'all, to go and git on him, burn his ass, shock his ass 'till he have no ass in the name of elements I pray! A-man.

Ash laughs at him hysterically.

Ash- What was that?! Damn you funny bra!

Shen- Ninja I'm serious! I hope them gods git him and kill him. You don't steal a man's woman! Emotion fucker!

Ash- Here's the scoop that my geniusness came up with. We will fuck her up with bamboo sticks, that will forever be on top but this got-damn monkey must go. We got until midnight to get this shit done. So here's what we gonna do...

Rosalina and Diddy ventures along a dark and gloomy swamp; the murky water are along her knees and along half of his body.

Rosalina- Won't surprise me if I see Shrek somewhere.

Diddy Kong- Ohhh ah. (And Fiona too.) WROO EEE AH?! (Why are we walking along this spooky place?!)

Rosalina- Keep your fur on. After this, it will be real smooth.

Diddy Kong- BEE AH HA! (Let's run through this October bitch then!)

Ash and his stooges on the other hand are searching the area for their prey.

Shen- Shit dark bra.

Ash- Quiet! All we have to do is find some ogre assassin and they will do the dirty deed for us.

Duo- We're wasting our time.

Ash & Shen- Ninja shut up!

Shen- Grow some balls man.

Ash- I don't want no whining brat on my ass. Get off!

Duo- All I know is we get broken bones every time.

Shen- I want that ninja monkey gone! Bitch-ass took my woman and broke my got-damn back!

Ash- Ninja can you drop it?! Damn! We will kill his ass okay?! Sheesh.

Shen- We better git him right now dammit.

A giant ogre that's three times taller and four times wider than a average human tromps along not far from both parties; it was to dark to see but the mega torch it carries helps it see in the dark as well as others seeing him.

Ash- That's our q.

Duo- Hell to the no! He don't know money or how to use it.

Ash- Ho ho he will soon.[bringing out a couple of George Washingtons and counting them] Watch George go to work; WORK YO MAGIC!

Ogre- ARRRRRRH![glaring around sniffing for dinner] BRING IT ON HUNTERS![he scoops a rock up and hurls it at the noise in the direction he heard it from]

Duo- Oh shit.[moving out of dodge]

Ash- Damn![moves out of dodge also]

Shen- She's a nymphomaniac![standing within the path beckoning the rock he thought was Rosalina; it snags him away with a blink of an eye leaving his shoes for all to see]

Ash- I swear he's dumb as fuck. He's retarded and you're a pussy. I'm the only impeccable ninja up in this bitch!

Duo- Man get your pompous Queen Elizabeth booty out of here.

Ash- Man fuck you.

Ogre- Y'ALL SURVIVED?!

Ash- Get physical coincided fucker!

Duo- Don't mind him.

Ogre- FOOLS! BEGONE NOW![he spots this greenish turquoise part of a dress dragging into the shadows] HA HA! GOT YA ASS BITCH![he rushes for it]

This grabs Rosalina and Diddy's attention as soon as the sound wave travels directly to them banging their ears upon reach. His eyes goes super wide after he saw a naked snake that resembles a man's package. Rosalina on the other hand rolls her eyes.

Rosalina- Great. Boss battle; fucking great!

Diddy Kong- AHHHHHH! (SNAKE! SNAKE!)[pointing and jumping about with great agitation] UUUUH EEEE! OW! (Magic Johnson cover that shit up! PLEASE!)

Ogre- RUN BITCH RUN!

Rosalina- Let's make this quick okay.[staring at him humbly]

Ogre- You not SCARED?! ROOOOOOOOAR![a couple of green saliva with vomit scent launches out of his mouth at them; luckily enough, the bubble field absorbs it; though the poor monkey got rained on.

Diddy Kong- [disrobing his shirt and hat; slamming them in the murky water] YOOOO AHHH! KEEE AH! (BRUSH YOUR TEETH MAN! Eat some mint and take them Listerine's bra!)[he baths himself with intentions of cleaning this crap off of him]

Rosalina- How's life?

Ogre- What kind of buffoonish question is that?!

Rosalina- Please answer the question. Why?

Ogre- WHY BITCH!? YOU HUMANS IS WHY!...Killing off my race. I'm the only ogre left to represent the existence of us. I WANT REVENGE ON ALL! FUCK UP MANKIND!

Ash was attentively listening to them.

Ash- Uh I got them.[checking out the positioning of his prey, the monkey and the ogre] If we kill this brute,[gathering green flames around his hands] he will fall on them, making it seem accidental. PERFECT!

Duo- That's not gonna work. It's real predictable and they will evade death.

Ash- Not if we slam the beast on them bitches.

While Ash and his doubtful stogie creeps stealthy behind the ogre...

Diddy Kong- Wee oh ah. (I feel you bra, but go to the government and confront them devils not us.)

Rosalina- I'm sorry we slayed your race. But revenge is not the answer. I'm pretty sure there's a female ogre around somewhere.

Diddy Kong- Yah a kee! (Yeah go find Fiona Shrek!)

Ogre- Well I don't see the bitch! I don't want to see the bitch! I WANT RECTIFICATION NAAAAAAAAOW![He raised his rock hardy fists in the air, prepping his kill]

Ash- NINJA THAT'S OUR DATE! [he shoots flames at his exposed spine while Duo summons demons from hell to slash and abet the breaking of his back.]

They was successful! The ogre's spine collapses and he falls on his stomach making a big splash! smoke sizzles out of his back; the torch falls and was put out after water eats up it's flames.

Ash- Stay away from my prey!

Duo- Forgive this poor damned soul.

Ash- Ninja if you gave us more of your food, you will still be alive and your "faggots" will be here too. NO MORE GREEN NINJAS! Learn to put yo shit on ransom!

Duo- You're wrong and he can't hear you.

Ash- (on every comma, he back hands his palm) I, don't, give, a, fuck! Faggot ass ninja took stupid Shen out and you know, you don't, fuck, with a, birds, feather!

Duo- Well did he fall on them?

Ash- YEAH! I forgot about them ninjas!

They tried with all of their might to roll him over; but barely moved him.

Ash- Wroo,[wiping sweat from his forehead] this is a lump of shit right here.

Duo- I got this.[He summons a spirit bomb and casts it on the dead weight; it decays it utterly]

Ash- Where they at?[scrutinizing the sordid outline of the decayed ogre and dipping his head in the water a couple of times] Did it take them up too?!

Duo- It probably did.

Midnight arrives and Rosalina and Diddy are in a sandy area with the jungle behind them. Her observatory slowly drives towards them.

Rosalina- What a quest.[she squats on her knees]

Diddy Kong- Ko ko co cah. (Them niggas are evil!)

Rosalina- Let's pretend you didn't say that.[she stares askance at him]

Diddy Kong- KO KO AH KEE?! (You can read my talk?!) [gazing agape at her]

Rosalina- Well let's just say I know what I heard.

A shooting star rushes along the sky.

Diddy Kong- STA A KEE! BEE LA BEE LA! (Star girl! Make wish make wish!)

She closes her eyes and made a wish. She opens them five seconds later.

Diddy Kong- Kay ee kay ee? (Was it good was it good?)

Rosalina- It's a sterling wish for the brighter future.

Diddy kong- KO LA TE! (GO IN DEF!)

Rosalina- I can't do that silly.[pats his head]

Diddy Kong- OW UH A! (Not even hotties like you have assess to my head!)[he playfully tackles her down and she bear hugs him] AHHHH E AH! (DAMN GIRL YOU CHEATING!)

Ash, Duo, and Shen who looks like a mummy with crutches, comes rushing towards the noise; with bamboo stick ready for punishment.

Ash- The damn ogre was too fucking slow!

Duo- I told you, failure.

Shen- That DAMN monkey![he trips on his side after one of the crutches got tangled up in a thick swirly branch.] DAMN THIS SHIT! WOMAN HEAL YOUR MAN!

Ash- SHE DON'T WANT YOU NINJA!

Duo- [glaring at the observatory when light emits from it] Hurry up! She's about to leave!

Ash- NINJA WHO THE BOSS?! I AM! HURRY "YO" ASS UP!

Rosalina- *sigh* They don't give up now do they?

Diddy Kong- RA QORAH! (Man fuck this!) [he whistles out a loud high pitch; Donkey Kong slams right in front of the bullies.]

Ash- Oh shit. GO! GO! GO![turning and pointing back; attempting to retreat in that direction; he was snagged up and now his fate is in the right hands of justice] No please. We don't want your son bra. We want that girl.

Duo on the other gets away; helping Shen up aiding his escape.

Ash- NINJAS GET BACK HERE!

Shen- You on your own man!

Duo- Let him teach you a lesson.

Donkey Kong- YEEE AH EEEE! (Where y'all punk asses going?!)[he hurls his enemy at the punk pair and like bowling; STRIKE!]

The two bowling pins launches up to the sky like misfired rockets. Ash on the other hand had his behind in the air and was curled up on a pine tree; lights out.

Donkey Kong-[beating on his chest] WROOO OOO OOOO! (STAY AWAY FROM THE WOMAN AND MY NEPHEW!)

Diddy Kong- KEE A TEE! (You GOT they ass in check!)

Light comes upon Rosalina.

Rosalina- So, this is good bye.

Diddy Kong- Poo o. (Yeah I guess so.)[he climbs on DK's back.]

Donkey Kong- Ah o. Wro uh? (You're welcomed back anytime lady. Where your clothes bra?)

Diddy throws a big pack of bananas at her in which she catches it; nearly falling.

Rosalina- Umph! Merry Christmas.[She summons a boombox to give in return; then fades away with the light]

The observatory speeds away in the speed of light.

Diddy Kong- De ah. (Damn that's fast.)

Donkey Kong- Ho ho ah wro. (So the day was awesome huh.)

Diddy Kong- OOOOO AH AH KE LA! FU KE! (Bra let tell you all about it! Shit funny!)[he his the play button on his new boombox]

He tells and acts it out to his big nephew.


End file.
